Monday, December 7, 2009

Holiday Shopping

I think that step by step I am learning to be a-okay with no Zoloft. This hasn't been without its ups and downs, but I really feel that I've gotten a good grip on handling the downs--the ups are easy. The first couple of weeks completely without Zoloft I was definitely much snappier than usual. But I made a conscious decision to try to recognize when I felt upset/anxious/etc., and I really feel that it paid off as I haven't felt snappy at all lately.

Yesterday I walked into Center City to do some holiday shopping while Liz studied. At times I felt a little sad that I was shopping alone, but rather than feel sad about it, I decided to take deep breaths and embrace my current situation. I enjoyed the shopping that I did and then I took time to get a hot beverage at a coffee shop and read for as long as I felt like it. It was blissful--just what I needed. I felt 100% great after reading and a hot tea with steamed milk.

Taking time out during the busy hustle and bustle of the holiday shopping season also allowed me to be a better partner to Liz. After the coffee shop I was able to go to the grocery store and then head home to prepare food, all the while feeling present and un-anxious. I hadn't even meditated yet, and it was 6pm at that point. Usually if I haven't meditated by 6pm, I can feel the anxiety creeping up. I know it's time to sit. I think taking time to read is sometimes really meditative for me, though, so that could have played a big role in decreasing/keeping anxiety at bay.

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