Power Vinyasa Yoga

There's a Baron Baptiste affiliated Yoga studio near me that I've been going to off and on for over 2 years now. Off and on because I would try out different studios from time to time, too. But I've decided I love Baptiste yoga. It's just for me. I mean, I've always known vinyasa (a style of yoga that focuses on breath and connecting each different yoga pose) is definitely my thing, but Baptiste vinyasa is without a doubt my thing. I took a class last night, and I think I'm going to start making it a more regular thing. I just felt so clear and awake afterward.

The studio near me is doing a six week intensive yoga/meditation program right now, but I don't want to impulsively commit myself to anything (since I tend to do that...) so I'm going to do my own version of it. I'm going to try to go 2-3 times/week and see how that feels. Perhaps the next time they offer the six week program I'll do it.

I'm also going to focus on continuing my meditation practice each day and continuing to make sure I have good food packed to eat at work (which is a goal I set earlier). I'll make sure and post my thoughts again after my next class.

Lazy Saturday

I spent the morning at a mindfulness and meditation retreat. Lots of meditation and yoga = a perfect way to start the weekend. I've been laying low watching netflix shows since I got home because it's cold and rainy out right now. It might even turn into snow tonight. I think I might make some sugar cookies later today. Tis the season!

Until then Dolce and I will be doing a lot of napping. She's already promised to stay out of trouble...unlike this time last year:

Can't See the Forrest for the Trees

I just had lunch after getting back from Sunday morning yoga. I tried a new kind of class at a Studio I don't usually go to. See, I'm pretty strictly into Vinyassa (type of yoga) practice, and today I tried Forrest and I did not love it. I thought it might be okay becasue one website said it incorporates Vinyassa, but I didn't feel like it did at all really. From the class I took today, Forrest seems to really focus on form. Not my thing. I mean form is definitely important, and some focus should be given to it, but to me yoga should be more about what you feel your body can do in a particular moment, not what your teacher thinks it can do. For instance, in today's class the teacher even corrected someone's pose when we were laying down flat on our backs in savasana (total relaxation)...how can you need to correct the total relaxation pose?!? I probably will not go back to Forrest again, but perhaps it's just the teacher I had because I just went to the Forrest Yoga website, and it seems like something I'd be into.

I've noticed that I've been feeling pretty emotional lately. I haven't even been completely off Zoloft for even a week yet, but I will monitor this and keep writing about it. I also think I've been harder on myself and less patient lately than I was when taking Zoloft. I've been focusing on doing the same level meditation to keep up my level of mindfulness, but I might try to meditate twice a day instead of once a day this week. I'm also going to acupuncture tomorrow so that should be very helpful.

Watching the marathon fell through because I couldn't get out of my neighborhood...all the roads were closed because of the race! Bummer.

Realizing Me

I was going to go to free yoga at lululemon this morning, but I think I'm just gonna stay in my neighborhood and be lazy instead. Is this a good idea? I don't know. Am I just avoiding going out? I don't really think so. I think I can be satisfied doing some yoga at home and then (FINALLY) attacking the entire pile of laundry that's been amassing. I've been chipping it down little by little, but, as we share a washer and dryer with all the tenants in our house, I think it's best that I just head over to the laundromat after I do some yoga. I can read in between washing and drying. That's the best.

I also have acupuncture this afternoon, and if I don't skip lululemon yoga to do laundry, there's no chance it'll get done. I don't want to go to the laundromat super late on a Sunday night. And if I'm really honest with myself, I'll admit that there's probably no way I'll actually go late at night. It's just not my style.

Speaking of not my style, Liz and I went to a Halloween Party on Friday night. I found an amazing dress at the Goodwill! Red velvet, puffed at the shoulder long sleeves...and I was a zombie from the Victorian era. It was a fab costume. The party, however, was much less than fabulous. The group of friends I went with all realized that we were the youngest people there by quite a bit, and I realized that I.Am.Old. I am not into drinking glasses of vodka with a splash of juice. I'm just not, and it's fine that other people are into that, but it's just not me.

So that was a bit of a bummer, and it made me worry that I'm not good enough at making friends because I can't just mold myself to be whatever anyone else is at the current moment. After a bit of that, I realized that if I just keep checking in with myself and asking myself what I want I will be able to make friends that like the real, authentic me. One good thing did come out of going to the party, though: I got to see other friends who left with us because the party wasn't their cup of tea either, and it was good to catch up with them after the long work-week.

Some quotes that apply to this post:

"He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away." -Raymond Hull

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." -e. e. cummings

...and my very favorite:

"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, a loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -Shakti Gawain

My Body Has the Answers

I attended the Jill Satterfield Mindfulness Meditation and Movement weekend on Saturday and Sunday. It was pretty fabulous. Lots of meditation, some yoga, which, though I really love long vinyassa sessions, I found that I loved. Even though it was wonderful and the time flew by, I found myself feeling lots of emotion at this workshop. I guess that's to be expected, but I was surprised at how powerful I found this emotion.

I did not do well in how I dealt with this emotion on Saturday when the workshop ended and it was time to go home. Well, at first I did okay. I came home, baked pumpkin bread and chillaxed. At 6:30 Liz stopped studying and we began talking about evening plans. We had planned on going on a date. I realized at that point that I was utterly exhausted. I chose to ignore that and we went out in a torrential downpour complete with strong winds to eat. I found myself fighting off a panick attack the whole way there. We left at 7:20 and didn't make it to the restaurant until 8. Hypoglycemia had set in. I kept snapping at Liz. The weather unnerved me. Driving in the weather unnerved me even more. And then I spent the rest of the evening apologizing--especially after I got some food and my blood sugar went back to normal.

On Sunday Jill reiterated something that really got me thinking. It was something to the tune of you have to do what's best for you, what feels right to you in order to be good to other people, or that's how I interpreted it anyway. This helped a lot. I left the workshop on Sunday and went home to have a snack and rest for a while before trying to tackle any chores. I asked Liz to go with me to the grocery store because I knew that I was too tired to really handle it well myself. Then I got home and put away all the groceries and made dinner and felt very rejuvenated after eating it, enough so that I cleaned up dinner and did other chores.

I checked in with myself and listened to myself and did what was best for me and it really did allow me to do what was best for my family. Liz was able to study a ton and I was patient and kind about it and I think all really felt good.